Critique my writing please?

Whoa! That is sick, twisted, disgusting, shocking and TOTALLY FREAKING AWESOME! This is one of the better things I have read on Yahoo and I am being honest here. This is good gore! It also has a good flow, good grammar and paragraph structure. If the point of the scene was to shock, you did a great job. Keep working on this. You are off to a great start. Best of luck!